Why do you hold on to things? Do they remind you of some thing, some one, some place? Do they express something about yourself that you want others to know? If you were to get rid of the “thing”, what would happen? Are you afraid you might lose the memory, that someone will love you less, that a parent will come back to haunt you, that without the memento, you will be less than or would somehow disappear. I would like to challenge you to look at everything you have in your office, your home, your car and ask yourself why you have it. Decide if you are keeping it out of desire or fear. Ask yourself, if what you are keeping brings good memories or if it is weighing you down. It is no surprise that there are many talk show hosts that have episodes on the importance of decluttering your life. It is necessary to to let go of things past so that you may experience the fruits of the future. Remember that new leaves appear on the trees only after the older ones have gone.
Don’t read me this post as saying that you should through away that beautiful photo of your mom from the 1950’s. And, I am not suggesting you live and work in blank and empty spaces. I do believe, however, that most of us could get rid of at least half of what we have in our possession. I truly believe that if you begin to unload yourself from some of the stuff, you may find yourself feeling a little less stuffy!
My brother told me when I was 23 that there were no such thing as a secret because every best friend has a best friend. We tested this hypothesis once when we worked at the same school. We both decided upon a story to share with someone and we told that person that it was a secret that should not be shared. I am, here, unfortunately, to tell you that it took no longer than 5 hours for someone to share that very secret with me and for someone to tell that very secret with my brother.
So you might feel that this posting is not uplifting, and I am not trying to imply that you should not trust people, which this example might indicate. It IS true that whenever you share, you should not be surprised when it is shared with someone else. Yet, this notion can help keep us honest, and consistently move us towards the goal of being our best selves. In essence, when you share, ask yourself why you are sharing, what is the purpose, are you trying to be helpful, to make better a situation. If what you share is shared with someone other than who you shared it with, will you be ok with that? If not, rethink what you say or how you say it. Honesty and telling the truth are not necessarily the same thing. We all have things that come to our minds that quite frankly we should keep to ourselves.
Saying it Out Loud so you can keep it In Mind!
For those who read my very first blog post which was my VERY FIRST ever, I said I would write something everyday – Well, I reevaluated my goals and will now post something ONCE A WEEK instead….I realized that I want my posts to be relevant, meaningful and read! After having done a bit more research, it seems that once a week will do just that.
So did I fail – am I just being lazy. NO!. As i have gained more knowledge, I have made changes based on the new information that I have gathered. Some people decide that once they have said something, they must follow through in the exact same way in which they began, after all that was the commitment they made. This can be foolish, stubborn and detrimental to success. My attempt is to be successful. So as i have evaluated my first week of blogging, and based on new experiences and information, I have come to understand that once a day will make my blog irrelevant and unread, this is too much for others to keep up with. Changing your goals and objectives as you move forward and based on new insights is smart if it allows you to actually meet your original purpose. Hindsight is 20/20–we must use it to do and be better!
So stay tuned to my now once a week Monday postings. and Here’s to a New Ending!
Self-Confidence: belief in oneself and one’s powers or abilities
Calvin and Hobbes always seem to get it right 🙂
If you don’t belief in yourself, your abilities, and your capacity to learn, you probably aren’t going to get very far. I am not talkng about the kind of confidence where one says they believe they can fly a plane and then goes out to fly one with no training. This would most likely lead to disaster. I would call that person arrogant, delusional, and irrational. However, the better question is do you believe you can learn how to fly a plane, or better yet, do you really want to learn how to fly a plane.
We must, however, be realistic about our capabilities. For instance, I am today 47, I would love to be a back up dancer for Madonna and Lady Gaga. Certainly I believe I can learn dance steps and even learn an entire dance performance. After all, I took ballet, tap and jazz for 11 years from the ages of 4-11, was successful at that time and even thought I was pretty good. And yet, I don’t think I would make the cut. Some might say, “how do you know?, did you try? go realize your dreams?, Be confident!” But alas, this isn’t what I am talking about.
I am also not talking about the confidence that says, “my way or the highway!” This also is arrogant. If we have learned anything, I hope one of them is that there are mulitple ways to get to the end of the rainbow.
When you have nothing to say. Say nothing…no need to fill in the space!
Came across this today:
Thought I would expand:
T. rust—for me this means that whoever you are engaged with knows who you are. That you can be free to process, disclose all of what you are “thinking” knowing that the person believes that you are trying to be the best that you can be. no judgments- it’s unconditional.
H.elpful–are you trying to get to a better place—is what you are saying intended to ADD to the conversation. Not subtract…not finding all the obstacles and problems with the situation. This doesn’t mean that you are not identifying potential roadblocks or situations that will need to be addressed. It means that you are addressing them to move forward.
I.nspiring–are you trying to uplift an experience, an event, a person…..giving your hundred and one thoughts on an idea, a thought, or an event is NOT uplifting. unless, of course, you are giving suggestions about how something CAN work.
N.ecessary–why are you contributing to the conversation. Are you REALLY trying to be helpful or are your thoughts and comments about the situation, just about your need to have an opinion. if so, then keep it to yourself—-
K.ind–this doesn’t mean that what you have to say is going to be pleasing to the listener. It means that you are invested enough to say it in such a way that is contributory to the conversation. In essence, your comment is intended to be helpful. If it is, then it is always kind and the person will know it.
I attended a focus group today on the use, feelings and experiences with Social Media. That isn’t the point of this blog but it is where i thought of this.
We often find ourselves trying to pick the one way, the “best” way, the most effective way, the most popular way. In essence, trying to make decisions about the ONE thing that will make whatever we are trying to accomplish the “right” way.
I am here to tell you that there are no ONE best, right, popular ways of doing most anything. It is combination, compilation, and collaboration that allows for success.
An example….I work at a University institution and my primary serving population are students. We had an event on Friday night and the goal was to try to get at least 900 people to the event. In this day, and with the age group of the people we were trying to reach, one might say that the best way, the one way to get them to attend would be through facebook and twitter.–Social Media– What is true, however, is that while we did use twitter and facebook, we also meet in person with student organizations, and organizational units, sent personal invitation emails and talked to people by phone. It was all of the above that allowed us to be successful.
Both/And my friends, not either/or’s!