Both/And

I attended a focus group today on the use, feelings and experiences with Social Media. That isn’t the point of this blog but it is where i thought of this.

We often find ourselves trying to pick the one way, the “best” way, the most effective way, the most popular way.  In essence, trying to make decisions about the ONE thing that will make whatever we are trying to accomplish the “right” way.

I am here to tell you that there are no ONE best, right, popular ways of doing most anything.  It is combination, compilation, and collaboration that allows for success.

An example….I work at a University institution and my primary serving population are students.  We had an event on Friday night and the goal was to try to get at least 900 people to the event.  In this day, and with the age group of the people we were trying to reach, one might say that the best way, the one way to get them to attend would be through facebook and twitter.–Social Media–  What is true, however, is that while we did use twitter and facebook, we also meet in person with student organizations, and organizational units, sent personal invitation emails and talked to people by phone.  It was all of the above that allowed us to be successful.

Both/And my friends, not either/or’s!

Simply Said

Sing Your Life by Morrissey!

What does it mean to feel like you have a voice?

When i was 25 (some 23 years ago now) i was sitting at Ham’s restaurant in Greensboro, North Carolina with a good friend.  I was stuck in this mental state of believing that no one cared what I had to say-even though my friends, co-workers and family would ask me what I thought.  I lead myself to believe that they asked me what I thought because that was the “nice” thing to do, but that they didn’t really care.  All of a sudden, and I don’t know why, I realized that it was me who needed to decide whether I had a voice or not and if my voice mattered.  In essence, it was an internal thing – not an external thing.  I don’t know what I was hoping for; that Oprah would call me to tell me I was brilliant and the whole world would want to know what I had to say.— Probably not going to happen!

Some people think that the indicator of voice heard is only when things go your way.  This is wrong! – And since I said you are wrong if you believe that, does it mean I didn’t hear your voice.  No it does not.  In a world where there are multiple voices and multiple opinions, if you believe that the only way your voice is important and matters is when things go your way, you will live a very unhappy life.

There are also those that will say I like to listen.  This is a good thing – but not at the expense of not sharing your voice.  In fact, I would go so far as to say it’s unfair if you only listen and do not share.  There needs to be a balance of sharing and listening for all of us.

So Sing Your Life!  The rest of us would like to hear it!  And, yes, listen every now and then too!

Simply Said

Intention vs. Impact

Intention vs. Impact

We have all heard this notion that what we do or say (intention) isn’t always the way it is received (impact).  Of course what we are after is Intention = Impact.  I think we can all agree with this.

I have found, however, that this notion doesn’t seem to begin on equal footing.  Intention consistently seems to be the one responsible both when understood correctly and when not understood correctly.  I am here to tell you that we need to rethink this notion.   I am not suggesting we flip the coin and hold impact consistently responsible.  I am suggesting, however, that we need to evaluate the situation more thoroughly before we decide who is responsible when misunderstood and who might need to make adjustments.

I was at a restaurant yesterday when two couples sitting across the aisle (yes, they were speaking loud enough for me to hear) were talking about football and one guy is telling the story of a football game he went to with his father.  He subsequently says, “that was the best day of my life.”  His girlfriend sitting next to him must have said something like “you mean your best day wasn’t with me.”  To which he replies, “I categorize them into family best times, social best times etc…for example spending new year’s eve with you was one of my best days too.”  She wasn’t having it.   My point is that his intention wasn’t clearly the impact.  We have decided as a society that it is he who must alter his communication in this situation so that his girlfriend’s feelings won’t be hurt.  And I am here to say that perhaps it is she who needs to not be so sensitive and a bit more understanding.

In essence, when your intention isn’t the impact, evaluate the situation first before you decide you must do it differently.  And the same goes for impact–evaluate the situation first before you decide that someone else should do it differently.  There is not a default page here.

Simply Said

Increase the % that you will fulfill your NY resolutions

So I thought I would be another 1 in a Million who will write about making New Years Resolutions.

Simply Said…..lower your expectations, don’t have too many and be real about what you are trying to accomplish .

I am not saying HAVE low expectations, but it seems that many resolutions go to the waste side because we overwhelm ourselves with what we want to accomplish.

3 years ago, I used to work out pretty regularly, was able to run 13 miles at a 9:32 pace, did more push-ups (on my toes) than most women and men my age, and then kaboom, I stopped.  I think this past year, I have struggled to begin again because running 13 miles and doing lots of push-ups seemed overwhelming.  And I was exhausted before I even started.  The point is my expectations were too high.  I need to just get on the treadmill and walk slowly at a 12 minute pace for say 30 minutes.  This feels reasonable and doable.  And in the process I will build up my capacity once again.  However, I am also not trying to run a half-marathon again, that isn’t my goal.  I just want to get fit.  This is my New Years Resolution.

Lowered my expectations, one resolution, and do something physical 4 days a week.

This seems a lot more reasonable than if I said this:  For 2012, I want to lose 30 pounds, run a half marathon by April, , work out 6 days a week, add strength training three of those days, take my lunch to work, and eat out only 3 days a week.  This resolution, of course would help me get fit, and even perhaps more quickly, but I also am pretty sure that at least one of those resolutions wouldn’t pan out.  And from my experience success leads to confidence that you can be successful.

So start off slow and add things along the way.  The invention of New Years Resolutions was a good one.  It reminds us to reflect on our lives and make them better.  At the same time, you can always have new resolutions in February, March, June, and November, in essence, along the way!

Be well

Simply Said